Anthem

Anthem: (noun) a solemn patriotic song officially adopted by a country as an expression of national identity.

Why are so many people against changing the national anthem? Canada is about growth, innovation, change and acceptance. Surely we can add to and modify our messages as we grow?

Anthems should reflect what we are at the time. As Canadians, we have grown, matured and become more inclusive. Our anthem should reflect that. Dictating that something cannot be changed because it was “that way over a 100 years ago”, closes our minds.

Anthems are not cut in stone, at least not in Canada. For the record, “O Canada” was written in 1880, originally without lyrics. The words were added after and were completely in French. In 1906, an English version was created, and then rewritten in 1908. Neither English version was a literal translation. The 1908 lyrics used the phrase, “thou dost in us command”. In 1914, they were changed to say, “in all thy sons command”. This is the line that is now causing us such strife. In 1926. A fourth verse was added. In 1927, it was modified again.

While unofficially being used as an anthem in some of Canada, “O Canada” did not become the acknowledged anthem until 1967. At that time, the lyrics were again modified, using most of the 1908 lyrics, but replacing some of them. In 1980, the National Anthem Act made “O Canada” the official national anthem of Canada. At that time, two more changes were made to the lyrics.

While terms like “man”, “mankind” and “seaman” have grown to be gender neutral, the same cannot be said for “sons”. “Sons” is very gender specific, as is “daughters”. Changing the term to “us” includes everyone, and acknowledges the part women play in protecting our country as well as men. Keep in mind, while there are many more women serving in our military, government and industries than there were in 1908, there were women fighting in our military in World War I as well. The “sons” phrase, does not acknowledge that.

I have heard arguments that the change is about “political correctness”. I believe the change is about acceptance, inclusiveness and acknowledgement. The change that is being proposed is to change “in all thy sons command” to “in all of us command”. Interestingly, this is more like the original lyrics.

I doubt the anthem is offending anyone right now, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be improved. Common politeness, something Canadians are renowned for, would have us behave in a way that does not offend, and that embraces all. I believe the change should be made.

Regardless of the side you are on, let’s stop using this as a source of anger and hate. Surely two words (that’s all it is) changing should not be a reason to expend so much energy towards anger. I really don’t think that’s why we fought for freedom.

"Dumbing of Age" and parenting

I'm a firm believer that the best comic strips are the best because of their writing more so than their art... "Dumbing of Age" is a web comic that's been around since September 2010. I like this strip because it reminds me a lot of my own experiences leaving home and high school and starting out on my own at college.

I've been reading this since earlier this summer and am getting close to being caught up. Today, one of the strips really made me feel good, and may become my favourite “Dumbing of Age” strips - http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/humility/ (minor spolier alert).

Backstory:
Joyce (the girl in the strip) was home schooled as a devout, creationist Christian. First year away at college, she has learned much about the world. Her best friend from childhood, Becky, grew up with the same teachings as her. She ran away to be with Joyce, revealing herself as gay and in love with Joyce. Joyce has struggled against her teachings to accept Becky and many other things, and is succeeding. This is her first trip home after the “reveal”, and she’s been terrified of how her parents will receive her new outlook and beliefs.

In this strip, Joyce's dad nails parenting!

I could wax poetic on how this directly relates to my current time in life, but I think I'll just let it stand on its own.

SOPA, Piracy and the New World

I feel I need to weigh in on the SOPA issue that has flared up in the last few weeks, even though it has existed for a lot longer.

SOPA is a US bill aimed at stopping online piracy. It is being pushed by large commercial content providers, primarily in the music and movie industries, as a solution to unapproved, unlicensed distribution of their property.

The stated intent is to allow legal bodies to take action against known pirate sources on the Internet, by blocking their transmission through technical actions. But here's where the problem starts.

As written, the bill is vague. It would allow any site to be shutdown (blocked) based on the unsubstantiated complaints of any corporation. Worse still, these complaints could apply to a user posted comment to a site. So, as an example, a 14 year old's Facebook status containing a link to an image of Mickey Mouse, not sanctioned by Disney, could provide grounds for the Disney Corporation to shutdown Facebook.

Would it happen? Probably not. But why pass a law that could allow that?

At stake, is the freedom of information and exchange of knowledge and creativity that the Internet promises and delivers. This is worth protecting.

The other reality, and I hate to use this argument, is that this type of law will not stop piracy. It will make it more difficult, but piracy will happen. Piracy of this type happens because there is no suitable business model to replace it.

Our challenge is to design and deliver the new business models. Find new ways to distribute the content and media that the public wants, in the way they want, with a working business model attached.
These models exist: last.fm, Netflix, Hulu and iTunes to name a few. But they need refinement and better distribution. And the media giants who don't get this need to change. They need to realize the opportunities they are missing. History shows you cannot stop change by force. You need to be part of the change to succeed.

Life is Beautiful

I've had a very difficult time trying to figure out what to write about the recent tragedies that have affected people I care about deeply. I've searched for all the right things to say; to offer the perfect words of wisdom to make people think, “Thanks, that's what I needed, I feel better”. But the reality is, I don't have those words.

We all build our lives around the people we love, with no plans for drastic change. We want the people we love and care about to always be where we want them to be. We hope that no tragedy will affect us, and more importantly, those we care about.

But, no matter how hard we try, we can't control those events. We can't escape death; we can't escape tragedy. They are inevitable.

What makes us human is how we deal with it. We are needed and we must carry on. Our lives are all we have and we must treasure them. “Live and love” is more than lip service, it is real. Let those you care about always know that you care about them.

Some pain will never fade; some wounds are too deep. We can't help heal them. Instead, make the scars your personal memorial to the greatness that is gone, and find more greatness – not as a replacement but as an addition.

Death is unfair, not life. Life is beautiful. We know that. Remember that. Celebrate that. Embrace that.

“If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with.”

We're here for a good time, not a long time...

Recently, I attended a dance put on by a local community group. It was held near the end of February, beginning of March, which around here means the time that everyone gets fed up with winter. And, as such was a complete sell-out. Pretty much the entire town attended – which is yet another reason I'm happy I gave up the city.

The dance featured a country band, which is not my first choice for music, but what the hell... The thing is, this was yet another example of what we lose when we lose community.

Here was a party that was attended by people aged nineteen through seventy – and everyone was having fun. At one point, on the dance floor, there were at least three generations of dancing happening; each with their own style. The coolest ones were the eldest ones. They had this waltzing sort of thing happening around the perimeter. About six couples all doing exactly the same dance in exact synchronization. What was really special was that the other generations watched close, several trying to follow along.

I guess what I found here is that a small community tends to include everyone. Its easier and almost necessary. There's more chance to stay connected to everyone and every age. Somehow, we need to be bring this back to all communities.

Beliefs

The world is once again erupting in acts of hatred. Acts veiled by declarations of righteousness and twisted morality.

Religion is a topic that can cause great controversy. My views on religion, God and morality may not be yours.

Religion.

Is a destructive force.

First off, I do not subscribe to any organized religion. I don't denounce them, I just don't believe in them. Most (if not all) organized religions were formed many centuries ago. Through the years, they evolved into instruments of control for the various societies that used them. Kings used them to guarantee obedience. To the unwashed, impoverished, they represented hope and a promise of something better than the miserable life they lived.

Modern religions still maintain some elements of this, but they try to focus on morality, community and faith (hope). Frighteningly, more and more governments and other institutes of power are using religion as their control tools. People are afraid, and fear makes religion a good tool of power. A tool that we are seeing used everywhere, including western cultures.

Religions cling to texts written centuries or millennia ago. They use these texts to justify actions, selecting the ones that work and dismissing the ones that don't. It is important to realize that these texts are not divine; they were written by men. Some may claim that these were the words of God transcribed by men, and I won't argue with that. Regardless, they were written by men, and have been transcribed by men, retranslated by men, reinterpreted by men. Every civilization has added their spin to them. This is not to say that they don't have relevance; they do. But they cannot be taken to be the only truth to live by. To do so would be to assume that God has not spoken since then, and that no wise men have existed since then. This is ridiculous.

Humans are intelligent beings. We have the capacity for great wisdom. We all, in our hearts know what is right and what is wrong. We are a social, communal species. To survive, we must cooperate. We must not kill, we must help each other, we must educate and share learning and knowledge, we must protect and preserve the elements of life that sustain us, we must love, we must minimize hate, we must strive to understand each other and our surroundings and we must go on.

When religions (and other powers) twist this knowledge to its own use, it corrupts.

God.

Does not exist.

At least, not as an all-powerful overseer. God is probably the most confusing of all religious elements. Early stories of God would have us fear God's power. Throughout history, God has been a fickle being, able to show great mercy and issue great punishment. Modern religions have tried to focus on God as a caring, loving being not responsible for the great tragedies and horrors in the world. I certainly have an easier time with this.

But now, we see religions preaching that God takes sides. Radical religious groups do God's work by murdering countless innocents. Other's protect God's word by building walls, removing freedom, free-will and access to education.

God is frequently referred to as 'he'. I think this is rather interesting, and shows the evolution of an instrument of control created by men with ambitions of power. Certainly, if we are to believe that a God is a benevolent creator and care-giver, would it not be more appropriate to refer to 'she' as a mother figure?

In any case, we all seem to create God in our own image, and maybe that's closer to the truth than we think. Do I believe in God? No and yes. No, I do not believe in 'he' or 'she' guiding events on whims only understood by God. Yes, I do believe in God as a force of creation that somehow unifies us all, and as a force we cannot understand.

Prayer.

Is an act of desperation.

I cannot, will not believe that a God listens to, and selects prayers to answer. To believe this is to believe in a God that is more demonic than benevolent; more sadistic than nurturing. How can I believe in a being that would look down and say, "Oh well. Nobody prayed hard enough for her. Guess that little girl burns in that car. Tsk, tsk". How can I believe that an act of prayer would bring more home-runs to that millionaire baseball player, but no food to that boy living in squalor.

Now, I do believe prayer has a place in human comfort. Like meditation, prayer can help us focus and find paths that lead us to where we want to go. I believe there are elements within us that we don't, and may never understand, and that prayer is one way in which we can focus our senses and thoughts to achieve an end. Group prayer, brings us together as a community, and community's can do great things.

Afterlife.

I hope exists.

Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? I don't know. Certainly, I don't believe there is a hell. Hell requires judgment. Judgment requires a judge. A judge goes against everything I believe above.

I have to believe in an afterlife. Otherwise, this life has no meaning. It may be simply what I leave behind; my thoughts, my creations, my children. And somehow, whatever it is that I am carries on through this. It may be that my spirit, my soul moves on to another level or another place.

All I know is that I have to believe in something. To do otherwise is too sad.

Supposed to be?

My oldest son has this way of asking a question that has no real answer. He’ll ask something like, “Is this door supposed to be open?” Now, mostly I think he’s asking, “do you want me to close this door”, but the question always irks me.

The other day I chose to answer the question. I said, “I don’t think the door’s supposed to be anything other than a door. It’ll be opened or closed depending on what’s needed of it.”

Okay, it was a smart-ass answer. When I answer smart-ass answers, I almost always regret it afterward and start reviewing the things I say that are similar. In this case, I found some remarkable self-revelations.

I am constantly keeping myself in turmoil by asking, “What am I supposed to be?” If I look at the smart-ass answer I gave my son, maybe I’m not supposed to be anything in particular. Maybe I am what I need to be – and more than that, I am what I want to be.

Its subtle, but it takes a lot of pressure off. There is no “supposed to be”, in the sense of some fated goal I will be measured against. There is a “supposed to be”, in the sense of doing what needs to be done to achieve the choices I’ve made. The nice part of this is that choices can be changed.

What am I supposed to be? Right now, a good: father, husband, community citizen, teacher, learner, neighbour, son, brother, example, provider, listener, lover, friend, guardian, guide, healer, coach, and more that I can’t think of. These are things that I have chosen long term.

There are other things that I can choose, to be things that I have decided I want to be. Writer, musician, planner, artist, performer, developer. These things I had put aside because they weren’t possible. I now believe that was not true.

So now I think the answer I should have given was, “I don’t know, what does it want to be?” (okay, so that would still have been a smart ass answer.)

Boys, girls, sports and P.C.

Should girls be allowed to play on boy's teams?

I've got into this discussion before and I have to admit, I like it. Bring it up at a gathering and I guarantee it will divide the room - and not necessarily the way you'd expect!

The question is simple, but the issues are complex. Certainly, we all agree that boys shouldn't be expected to play on girls teams, at least when we're not playing devil's advocate. So why then is the opposite not true?

At early ages (5-8?), it doesn't matter (generally). Of course this also depends on competitiveness and perceived importance. But once kids start to hit 10, 11, 12 and upward, things get more complex.

Sometimes, the issue is fairly simple. If you are in a community that cannot really field teams for both genders, certainly it makes sense to combine the team. But what about the communities that can support both? This is where the issue starts to get prickly.

I'm going to use hockey as the example sport. This is an activity that has almost religious significance in the communities I've been associated with. In Ontario (the province of Canada I live in), the hockey governors have decreed that girls shall be allowed to play on boy's teams. This even if an appropriate girls team exists in the same community. Additionally, by the age of twelve, rinks are required to provide separate dressing areas for the boys and girls. Hockey is a sport where you don't come to play dressed in your equipment and uniforms.

Why am I discussing this now? I just received a copy of a newspaper article from a friend of mine who has a son on a Peewee hockey team (12-13 year olds). His team also has a girl on it. The article is about this team and the complaint that has been lodged with the Ontario Human Rights Commission. The parents of the girl are upset because she is forced to change alone in a separate room from the rest of the team. Rinks do not often have enough rooms, and so the girl is required to change in another room (first aid room, for example).

Now here's the problem. Rinks are forced to provide separate change areas for the girls because of complaints in the past. Common sense says you don't want to submit your daughters to the leering stares of twelve year old boys. Now, one parent wants to force all girls back into the dressing rooms with the boys.

Reading through the article, I think the biggest issue is that she is all alone. This is because she is the only girl. Honestly, I think the solution is for the coach to provide a set amount of time before game time (say 10 minutes prior to the on ice time) for the entire team to gather in the one dressing room. Any boy not ready by then can have the girls' room, providing the girl is ready. Same for after the game; have a five minute period where the team stays in their uniforms for a quick team summary. If this isn't acceptable then someone's being unreasonable.

But I want to touch on some of the other issues in the article. The big one being a statement that "she plays on a mostly boys team" (emphasis mine). She plays on a boys team! Why can't we allow there to be just boys teams, or clubs, or organizations. We allow girls teams. In the community she plays in, there is a huge girls league, at all competition levels. Having a boys team is not a violation of human rights. If it is, then so is having a girls team. So far, in all of the arguments I've had on this issue, no one has been able to come up with a rational explanation for this accepted inequity.

And, on a lighter note, the article also complains that the girls are required to "dress alone in tiny rooms" that are "dirty with no chairs". This sounds like every hockey dressing room I've ever been in. The disgusting state of some dressing rooms is promoted as a feature of some rinks.

Canadian Tire Guy

That's it! I've had enough!

I've always had a hate on for that curly-haired, bespectacled Canadian Tire guy. You know the one; he show's up to "help" a neighbour in every commercial by belittling their abilities and showing off his latest tool from Canadian Tire.

But this latest commercial has gone too far!

I've always assumed that I have a character weakness that causes me to overreact to this guy. Maybe he actually is just trying to help and not just be a jerk. But the latest commercial makes me think I'm right. In fact, the commercial seems to be set up to prove we should dislike this guy.

In this one, his neighbour (one we've never seen before - how many next door neighbours does this guy have? Do they keep moving away?) is stuck in his driveway, snow blasting all around him, and his car won't start. Enter the annoying guy, who explains that his car won't start because his oil is wrong. He should have used 'blah blah'. After giving the guy a lecture on the proper use of oil, his neighbour explains, "I had no idea". To which Canadian Tire guy replies - wait for it - "I know".

Okay, I'm not prone to violence, but that deserved a punch in the face.

This is the same guy who taunts his neighbour (another one) by quickly getting his backyard cleanup chores done using his brand new pressure washer, while his neighbour is forced to clean by hand. When he's completed the task, he waves to his neighbour as he leaves for golf - but never offers to loan him his pressure washer. This is the same guy who after agreeing to go and buy a neighbour a specific kind of brakes, returns with something different - not because he couldn't get them, but because the ones he brings back are better.

What is with this guy? Why does Canadian Tire think that we will identify with him?

Actually, as I think about it, I do remember what each and every product he pushes is. Maybe they're on to something...

9/11

9/11 had a major impact on my life. I have never been so truly sad...

It made me open my eyes and look around. Question why this could happen, and how can/do I stop it.

I found that it had been happening for too long beyond my front yard, and that now it was in my neighbours yard. I found that it was not enough to wait for it to threaten me, and that I was wrong to ignore it elsewhere.

I don't have the answers to stop it, but I believe that communication and information sharing will help. Bring the world together; try to understand. I don't want to hate. I don't want to fight.

On a personal level, I changed my lifestyle. I don't want to be ignoring the things that matter most to me by working myself to death. I guarantee you that most of those people in the planes and towers would've given anything for a few more moments with their families. I don't want to find myself with those regrets.

I can't imagine their feeling of pure helplessness, knowing that they would not be going home. I can't imagine having to make the decision some made on Flight 93; knowing that there was no chance you would survive. Knowing that by not trying to bring down your own plane you would be condemning many more to death. I know they knew it was the right, the only, thing they could do, but their grief consumes me.

I grieve for the emrgency workers, who went about their jobs as if they could save everyone. Unselfishly doing what they had to. And failing.

I honour all of these people today.

We need to open our eyes; unite in peace. Closing our doors will only make it worse. We have to try.

"Cell phones cause trouble in the classroom" - no dah!

According to a story in the Globe and Mail today, cell phones have had to be banned from use in the classrooms of most high schools.

You've got to be kidding! Why is this something that had to be considered? Why would they ever be allowed? "Hang on a sec, Mr. Green. I'll answer you after this call."

Okay, you know, I think we may have taken lack of discipline too far. According to the article, almost all schools have banned their use in the classroom. "Almost all"??!! And one school has changed the rules to allow students to use their phones in the hallways and cafeterias. The reasoning? This way, students won't break the rules and sneak into the washrooms to make calls. They might have camera phones, after all.

Okay, this is nuts. First off, the need for a cellphone in a school is questionable. If you really need to be contacted, there's always the school office. But, there's no reason to assume you can't have one; just don't use it on school property during school hours. If I brought a radio to school, nobody would have cared if it sat in my locker turned off. But there sure would have been issues if I propped it on my desk and turned it on.

And this bit about allowing it in the hallways to prevent people from breaking rules is crazy. If they break the rules, deal with them. They sure didn't allow smoking in the hallways to stop kids from sneaking to the washroom. Now, part of this washroom thing was to deal with bullies. Apparently, some of the new camera phones have been used to bully other students. While I deplore bullying, deal with the bullies. As far as I know, there have always been bullies in washrooms. I would have been very stressed if we dealt with them by giving them an official bullying room instead.

I think its time we unite as a society to deal with kids and discipline.

I'm Angry

I'm angry. I'm very angry. I'm so angry, that I don't know how to react.

Once again, terrorists have taken the lives of innocents. This time, hundreds of children. Suicide bombers seized a school in Russia, holding as many as 1200 hostages - most of them children and their parents. Their demands were unclear, and changed often. I have just read that Russian forces tried to take back the school and hundreds have been killed.

What the hell is wrong with these people? Are they just bent on killing as many people as they can? How do we deal with this? How do we deal with people who don't value anything? All they seem to want to do is exterminate everyone who doesn't belong to their.... what? I can't even define what it is they hate!

The only common denominator to this is that they are all Muslim. They fight under the auspices of protecting their religion. But their own religion abhores the taking of innocent lives. And they kill their own children by strapping bombs to them and using them as human weapons. How do we deal with people who don't even love their own children?

I find myself starting to react badly. I want to believe that these are totally irrational people hiding behind a religion that they don't believe in, but I'm finding that more and more difficult. They don't seem to have any real demands. Their only goal seems to be the complete extermination of non-muslims. And yet they also kill muslims.

I need to hear from Muslim leaders. I need to hear them stand up and decry these actions loudly. I need to hear them tell other Muslims that these are sins they are commiting. They will not be welcome into heaven as martyrs. They are killers, murderes and monsters. And that's how they will be dealt with.

Without these voices, I can see no other path but the one that leads to total mistrust of all muslims. It will come down to self-preservation. When no other path is left, it is in our nature to fight. I'm afraid the rest of the world will have no choice but to attack the muslim world in order to preserve our lives. I don't want this.

Feeling Community

Globe article from July 7th (or 6th) on people's feeling of attachment to community.

A Statscan survey released recently had some interesting results about Canadians' feelings of community. While 85% of those surveyed said they had a very strong or somewhat strong sense of belonging to Canada, only 68% had the same feelings about their local communities. Not surprisingly, the smaller their communities the more likely they were to feel an attachment.

This survey seems to support what I've been feeling - that we are losing touch with our communities. While its great that almost all of us feel "Canadian", we need to localize these feelings. If we can't share a sense of belonging and responsibility with our neighbours, we will continue to lock ourselves away and allow our social constructs to deteriorate.

There is a saying, "It takes a community to raise a child". This is so true. I believe many of the negative feelings we have towards youth and crime have been fueled by this loss of community.

When I was a kid, I knew that if I did something wrong away from my house, there was a good chance I would be dragged to my house by some other parent who would present me to my parents. Similarly, if I needed help, I could find it at almost any door. Today, if you were to bring a child to their house, you can't be sure you wouldn't get assulted by their parents. And kids certainly don't feel comfortable walking up to just anyone's home.

We need to work very hard to take back our communities. We need to reach out and start caring. This will be difficult. There are too many factors that have led us here - both parents working; long commutes taking us away from our homes. We live one place, work another and play in another. But somehow, we need to do this. Its important to realize that feeling Canadian means feeling part of our community.

Organic Governing

I've been reading a book by Bruce Stirling, one of the great observers of humanity, where a not too distant future society has all but dissolved. In its place, are smaller, nomadic societies. These societies exist as functioning groups, completely co-dependent. Everyone has a role and a skill that can be used. Government is dynamic and liquid. It exists when it is needed by the community and changes often. Anyone could have responsibility at any time. And, it worked.

I have seen this on a smaller scale in a shorter time frame, but just as effective. The weekend gathering I attended recently was just such a society. Everyone was responsible and everyone contributed.

I believe this is what we are missing in our larger societies. We no longer feel a part of the solution. We have no real recognized responsibilty or skills. Our participation has been reduced to tax payments, and activity we all resent. How do we give everyone the abilty to 'chip in'? How can we all feel like we are part of what we are building? Give us pride in the results? Make us all instruments of change?

There is no doubt that to do this we need to make huge, wholesale change. Governing can really no longer be a career; it needs to be a necessity and one where everyone understands and reaps the benefits. If we can achieve this, I believe we will have made great steps toward effective communities again.

Wasn't That a Party

My family and I had the privilege and pleasure of participating in one of the most amazing celebrations I have ever been a part of. Friends of mine celebrated their marriage this weekend in a fashion so befitting their own, their families' and their friends' personalities - they transformed a chunk of land in the bush into a glorious outdoor spectacle.

It was the second time around for both of them, so neither really felt the need for a large, formal, opulent wedding. They wanted to celebrate their new chosen lives, and they wanted their families and friends around them. But more than that, they wanted it to be an experience for everyone. They succeeded.

Most of us came for one or two nights, camping on the land surrounding the small lake. We were there as families, to help my friends make this one night something to be remembered.

To transform this land into a wedding chapel, restaurant, reception hall and recreation area was an act of pure human will. A small island on the small lake became the alter. The wooden bridge to the island became a bridal path. The entire area was lit by candles and torches. Almost everything used to decorate or function at the wedding came from the land around.

In keeping with the natural surroundings, the wedding vows were witnessed by a group of Cedar Waxwings, that alighted in the tree above the couple, and a large bullfrog who saw fit to float nearby.

The transformation was an example of community at its best. An attending plumber noticed the cook had to continually leave the tent to get water - poof, there was a sink with running water. The horseshoe pits had no sand in them - poof, there were boxes with sand built around them. The plates were sliced circles of wood from trees that had to come down, covered with flatbread tortillas to cover the rough wood. The decorations were dogwood and pine branches in old plastic milk pails filled with sand. The candles were tea candles in mason jars filled with sand. Christmas lights lined the trees. The food was cooked on a series of barbecues by guests who volunteered under the watch of the chef. The large fire pit kept the night bright and warm. Fireworks closed the night off.

Almost everyone contributed in some way, and that, alone, made the entire event special. We all felt like we more than guests. We were part of the whole. By letting us help with the preparations, it became ours as well. The sense of belonging felt by everyone there was huge. We were all, truly, part of them.

It was an experience that won't be topped anytime soon, and one that I will forever be grateful to have been included in.

The Simple Life vs. Kids Today

Today, both of my oldest mentioned that they might not play baseball next season. Now, understand that they have both played baseball for six years without question. Its been their choice, even though I've coached them since their second season.

I didn't react. Its a long time until next season. But I did muse over the reasons.

They have a new found freedom in our new town. We've pretty much allowed them the free run of the town. They can get on their bikes, skateboards or roller blades and head pretty much anywhere. The advantage of a small town is that everyone knows everyone, and they really can't go anywhere where they won't be known. So, we feel pretty secure allowing them to roam.

I think this might be one of the key reasons. My boys play hardball. The town we are in doesn't have a hardball team. My boys have to play in a neighbouring town, where although they've made friends on the team, they're not the guys they hang out with. In our previous town, they didn't hang out with most of the team either, but neither could they roam freely. So, baseball was one way out of the house a couple of times a week.

One of my boys has also expressed his interest in spending more time perfecting his skateboarding. He feels next summer, he'd like to put more effort into that. Again, where we now live, he can do this. And that's given him the ability to make his own choice.

So here I am with a quandary. I love coaching baseball, but I'm not going to coach if its not my kids. I want to be with my kids. But I can't force them; especially when they are making such mature decisions. We moved here to give them the freedom that they are enjoying. And we've spent their lifetime preparing them to make their own choices.

Sometimes, it appears you can do your job too well.

Oh, I do have another ball player. My youngest plays ball too. But separately, he has said he might prefer to play soccer next year.

Sigh.

Real Monsters

A horrible crime was committed in Toronto over a year ago. It involved the kidnapping, sexual assault and murder of a little girl, only ten years old. Today, the killer had his day in court and pleaded guilty to all charges, closing the book on the case.

Some of the facts that came out about the crime are beyond frightening. The sheer randomness of the attack and the time it took for the entire crime leaves you with a feeling of total helplessness to prevent something similar. As a parent, it makes me want to tie the strings even tighter.

This particular guy, was a time bomb. By his own admission, this was a fantasy he had his entire life. This particular night, after viewing child porn on the Internet, he acted. He stepped out his door, saw this girl, grabbed her, dragged her into his house, raped her, and killed her in a period of twenty-five minutes! By the time her parents had begun to get concerned about her absence, she had already been dead for half an hour.

The role that child porn played in this crime will be the source of much discussion for years to come. Suffice it to say, it will likely, rightfully, lead to tougher penalties handed out to possessors, distributors and creators of child porn. Good!

But another, more disturbing issue has been raised. There is a call for penalties to be handed out to ISP's who distribute child porn. Now, any ISP that knowingly distributes such material, either directly or through knowledge of one of its clients, should be penalized. Penalized with all the force available to the law. But, the mere fact that their service was used is not a crime. If people use that service for illegal activities, and hide that fact from their ISP, the ISP cannot be held responsible.

I may be sensitive because this is my industry, but think of the similar case in non-Internet terms. Is the postal service responsible for the contents of its packages? Is the telephone company responsible for the content of the phone calls carried out on its lines? The postal service, being a government operation, actually has the right (I think) to open its packages. The phone company has to be ordered by a legal power.

An ISPs business is probably more closely related to a public storage facility. The storage facility's contract specifically tells you that you can't use their facilities for illegal purposes, but beyond that, they really can't do anything. If you store stolen goods there, they are not the ones who committed the crimes. In fact, I don't even believe that they can open the unit to look.

The Internet scares people. But it is not the problem. We need to focus on the real criminals. With child porn, we really need to go after the producers; they are hurting children. Go after the distributors - the ones who know they are distributing it. Go after the consumers - they fuel the demand. But you can't attack the medium. That would be like banning paper because it was used to publish illegal magazines.

New Government / Old System

As our election day fast approaches, I find myself having a very difficult time deciding on where my vote should go. Now, I have never failed to vote in my twenty-five years of being able to, but I find myself considering it.

The problem is, our governmental system doesn't work anymore. It is quite likely that a government will be elected that doesn't represent the majority of the voters. And in our parliamentary system, the local representative you elect will not represent you once elected. They will tow the party line under partisan politics.

When transportation systems and communication systems were such that it was difficult to hear what the people wanted, representative government by geographic region made sense. The smaller populations made it work. Partisan politics were necessary to get anything done, and the people that elected those politicians trusted them to do what was best for them.

Not any more. We don't trust those politicians. They frequently say one thing and once elected, do another. And, if the party changes its platform, the representative goes along with it.

I think its time we changed the way we do this. This system is based on geographical and political factors that no longer exist. Its time for elected officials to be responsible to those who elected them - not the party. A democracy should not elect a dictator every four or five years. There are smarter people than me that study and design governmental systems. Let's get them to do this.

Its time for real change!

The Simple Life

Recently, my family and I moved away from the busy, crowded suburbs of Toronto to Tavistock, a small town over an hour from the metropolis. By small town, I mean less than 3000 people. The nearest, large centre is about a half an hour's drive away.

We didn't enter into this lightly. Our quality of life had been suffering badly over the ten plus years in the shadow of the GTA. Stress and claustrophobia were playing havoc on our moods and energy levels. But, everywhere we looked to move were either still too expensive (i.e. commutable to Toronto) or truly in the middle of nowhere.

Tavistock turned out to be the greatest compromise we could find. Although we originally considered it to be in the middle of nowhere, on further examination, it appeared to be in the middle of everywhere - and far enough away to still be a small town.

Still, moving to a town this small is a little scary. You know no one, and everyone knows you. If you don't get along with the townsfolk, you are pretty much screwed. And what if everyone proves to be hayseed hicks or rejects from 'Fargo'?

Our fears proved to be unwarranted. Far from being ignorant, uneducated simpletons, we've discovered a sophisticated population - more so than I've seen anywhere else I've lived. People here, want to be here. They've chosen this life rather than been trapped in it. Like us, they've decided to put far more value on living their lives in a fashion far more focused on family and community than on obtaining social stature and monetary success.

There are more entrepreneurs in this town than I've ever seen in one place. There are far more of them at home during the day, enjoying their homes, yards and community. They work to live rather than live to work. Doing their own thing gives them the freedom to work at the pace they need.

I like this. For the first time, I desire to become part of the community; to work with the community; to give back to that community. I am looking forward to this simple life.

Kids Today

I accompanied my boys and their grade six class on a field trip today. It was my first time to do the parent volunteer thing. I found the kids to be unbelievably good to one another. They seemed to have no divisions by social stature, and seemed to get along great.

I don't know if this has to do with the small town attitude (I recently moved my entire to a very small town), or that in general kids today are just better than they used to be. I remember kids being very non-tolerant, looking for weakness to exploit, and very divided on social scales. Granted, this was much worse in high school, and these kids are middle school, but I'm sure I remember it even then.

I will admit to the possibility that what I remember is badly tainted by my own social limitations, but I don't think so. After all, it was my generation that created "The Breakfast Club".

This experience just added to my already growing belief that kids today are just generally better with each other than they used to be. I've seen it at sports, at social events and now at school.

I hope I'm right. They are our future, and it could be a very good future.